So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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