if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
