I'm really into asian looking animals
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
