Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize