Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
