dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize