oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
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no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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