Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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