I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
