So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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