They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
