why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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