Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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