You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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