we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
As shirtless as possible
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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