I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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