Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
