You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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