playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
