their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
