my mouth tastes like poor choices
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
