also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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