My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
