Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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