maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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