Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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