Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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