It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
