Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
