I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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