Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
