look no pants
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
