He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
