So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The beer is more important than you right now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
