We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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