yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All the doctor said was why
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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