dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
