i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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