508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
