I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
