Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
