I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
