We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
