There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Drake has all the answers
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
