so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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