Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
