Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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