fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
