I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i've created a new STD.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
