Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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