Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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