I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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