what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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