Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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