I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
