Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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