we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I didn't notice because vodka
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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