I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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