I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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